Do you and your partner ever engage in cost analysis when it comes to your relationship? Oh and by cost analysis I mean, "I cleaned the entire house, took the dog out, paid the bills, and all you did was watch football all day?!" Sound familiar?
I read an article recently that used the term cost analysis, which refers to the business strategy of keeping tabs on business related costs and determining whether they are effective/necessary for your business. The article I read compared the "keeping score" effect that often occurs in relationships to cost analysis. Basically, when you are constantly keeping track of what you do/have done and what your partner didn't do/has not done, it's like cost analysis of the relationship. You are "keeping score/track," and while this strategy may be beneficial to a business it is not beneficial to a relationship.
I can shamefully tell you that I engage in this purposeless behavior more often than I'd like to admit. The second that I feel that my husband isn't pulling his weight (especially around the house), I begin to mentally go through all of the things I do around the house, and all of the things he doesn't do! Before you begin to judge my husband, let me just tell you that he actually does a lot around the house, much more than many other men that I know of. In fact, just yesterday I came home to a clean house, with dinner already made and on the stove. Boy, writing this sure makes me feel guilty about my "keeping score" mentality. I guess if I were keeping score yesterday it would be: Derek- 1, Kendall- 0.
The article I read really opened my eyes to the harmful effects that can be caused by cost analyzing your relationship. As I wrote a couple of weeks ago, relationships are give-and-take, meaning that sometimes you will give more and sometimes you will take more. This is would be considered the normal flow in any healthy relationship. Sometimes I give more, sometimes Derek gives more (last night), and it's important for me to acknowledge that, and not de-value all that he does bring to our relationship. Telling your partner how much you do and how much they don't do will only push them away, and leave them feeling de-valued. This is not the way to motivate your partner, even though it is easy to think so.
This is my solemn promise that I will stop engaging in cost analysis when it comes to my relationship (especially used as ammunition in an argument..hehe), and I will value my partner for all that he brings to our relationship- wet towel on the bed and all. :)
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Thursday, September 6, 2012
|Yes, the tie, mask, and handcuffs all have meaning ;)|
So I have finallllly finished the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, and I have mixed feelings about the read. I originally picked up the book because so many of my girlfriends were reading it and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I decided that it would be the perfect book to read on my honeymoon...and it was ;)
|Here I am on the first book in St. Barths|
Some of my friends raved about the book, and said that it was THE BEST, while other friends explained that it wasn't a very sophisticated read, and was frankly not very good. Well, my opinion of the books are somewhere in the middle. While I definitely don't think it was the worst book that I've ever read, it's certainly not the BEST.
These books are perfect for the light summer read. These are not the type of "page turning" books, where you just can't wait to get back to your book to find out what happens next; Because let's face it, we all know what's about to happen next: Sex, sex, and more sex. At first this sounds fun, but after a while it just gets old. My favorite part of the books were the story line, which I would classify as mediocre at best. I actually found myself skipping through the sex parts, because I felt that they became diluted and boring as they seemed to occur every 5 pages. Thankfully the story line picks up throughout the books, and becomes delightfully complex in the third book.
Overall, I would recommend these books as a light read to someone wanting to spruce up their sex life with their partner! ;) Do not read these books if you are looking for a page-turning, gritty novel, as this is not it.
Because envisioning Christian Grey and Annastasia Steele is probably the most intriguing part of reading these books, here are my picks for the soon to be movie.
|Matt Bomer would be the PERFECT Christian Grey; There is no question about it!|
|Felicity Jones is the Anastasia Steele that I have imagined; I think she'd be amazing.|
I'd love to hear any other thoughts/opinions about this trilogy. Feel free to share!
Monday, September 3, 2012
Happy September! I'm officially allowed to indulge in all of my Fall favorites! One of my favorites is Fall decor for the home. Something about this time of year is magical, warm, and comforting...what's not to love? I have been brainstorming about how to decorate my front porch and thanks to Pinterest, it's never been easier.
My first front porch purchase is this wreath! I love the colors of the berries in the wreath and it should go very well with our front door (a reddish-orange). I also like that it is very simple and doesn't have a bunch of frilly fake leaves, etc. Something about fake looking foliage makes me cringe! haha.
Below are some of the pictures that I've collected for my front porch inspiration
|Love the mums and the fabric wrapped around the pumpkins.|
|What an adorable way to use those tiny inexpensive pumpkins!|
|Stacked pumpkins are cool and unexpected|
|How pretty is this monogrammed pumpkin?!|
|I love the rustic feel of using crates- easy and affordable.|
I can't wait to use different elements from these pics to make my own Fall-tastic porch! I will be sure to post pictures :)