We've all done it right? Taken him to the mall to see that gorgeous camel colored fall collection Coach bag; Clipped out a Coach coupon and put it on the kitchen counter; Mention (on many occasions) that you would really love a new camel colored fall collection Coach bag to be your perfect accessory for the next season; Not-so-discretely peruse the Coach website and zoom in on that beautiful bag while in his line of sight...
Then comes your anniversary and he hands you a gift that is in the EXACT shape of a Coach box. Oh it's definitely the Coach bag that you have been wanting for months- What a great guy I have! You tear open the wrapping paper, and oh no...the box doesn't say Coach, it says... Macy's? What? Didn't he know that I wanted a new Coach bag? Out pops the mediocre sweater, and on pops your fake plastered smile.
Okay, can you tell that I loved story telling as a child? Haha. But seriously, this has happened to every woman at one point or another right? We drop hints for months about a gift that we want for an upcoming holiday, etc. and once in a blue moon he may get it right, but typically we just end up disappointed! This is such a silly game that we play in our relationships, when it would be so much easier to just be honest.
Yes, it's true, being honest about what you are really wanting for may take some of the surprise out of gift-giving, but I have found that I would gladly swap the surprise for the gift that I really want. Derek and I implemented this "honesty policy" into our relationship a few years ago, and exchanging gifts has been so much simpler and satisfying ever since. We both get what we really want, and there is no uncomfortable "Um, thanks honey but I'm just not sure this sweater is me...would you mind if I exchanged it?" Or worse, "Oh yeah, I guess I could wear that sweater to dinner tonight, I've just been waiting for a special occasion..."
My Birthday was just last week, and I put my own advice into effect and told Derek what I really wanted for my Birthday...and like magic, I got exactly what I wanted!
It's a new Buffet table for our dining room! We really needed a pretty piece of furniture for this spot and some extra storage for all of the serving ware, etc. that we got for the wedding. I told him weeks in advance that this is what I wanted, so the weekend of my bday we went shopping and found this beauty! Now I'm happy because I got what I really wanted, and my hubby is happy because I am....and because he didn't have to do laps around the mall trying to figure out what to get me! :)
Here are some final gift giving tips that I've learned along the way:
1. Set a budget with your partner beforehand: I.e. We will only spend $300 on each other for Christmas this year. This keeps things fair, and prevents any possibility of gift giving resentment!
2. If you really don't like the idea of spoiling a surprise by telling your partner what you really want, consider being honest about the big gift that you want (buffet table) but also doing small surprise gifts (fresh flowers and a card- this was my surprise on my bday!) This Christmas we are planning on being "honest" about what we would like for our main gifts to each other but will keep our stocking stuffers as complete surprises! ;)
Anyone else out there think that honesty is the best policy when it comes to gift giving in your relationship?